ALSO KNOWN AS: Angelina Jolie: The Movie
GENRE: Revisionist backstory fairy tale that has nothing to do with said fairy tale.


Only an “apostrophe S” away from an accurate self-description

Maleficent is the closest thing to a Dementor the human race has had the joy to experience. But while such magical non-beings are tasked with sucking a human being dry out of any happy memories lying inside their brains, this movie targets a very specific memory: that of our childhood’s first viewing of Sleeping Beauty. And the movie is not content with just feeding on it, as it also aims to destroy it before our very eyes and replace it with a dark void of bitter nothingness. This feeling of emptiness then multiplies exponentially when you remember you actually paid for this “service”. Continue reading